STORY TIME: The Bike Mid June 2020 the Sunday I passed the test, of course I had to go tell my best friend! He was at his apartment building his bed frame. He was my biggest supporter through the mission to ride, and his was the bike I almost killed myself on the previous summer the second time I tried to ride it in a parking lot.... Summer 2019 ...it was a narrower parking lot than the first time. Why does that matter? I had no clue how to use the friction zone to help me navigate tight turns, and to me, that parking lot made me nervous compared to the first one because it felt like a tight turn. What do nerves and insecurities make me do? Yup, you guessed it, overthink. Bad bad bad! There was also a hill and a dead end circle lined with thick wooden posts... another bad combination. The stars were stacked against me and I should've stayed in bed. Soul crushing incident one: trying to turn around, on a slight hill, also trying to avoid the post lined dead end, I totally failed even the slightest resemblance of using the friction zone, ended up going too slow and tipped over in slow motion. How? HA, had the bright idea I could stop the tip without being even close to getting good leverage first. However, I did manage to not hurt myself! YAY! BUT I FELT HORRIBLE! just laid down my best friends' baby! Ungh! There were a few scratches on the mirror and some chrome got rubbed, but the bike was ok. Lots of stalls, stops, and just plain unfun stupidity later (with a few accomplishments in between like shifting, and actually surviving the post lined dead end.... yes, I tended to fixate on the posts.... just like the cones.) The second soul crushing incident happened. Braking was problematic this ride. Kind of did it a couple times my first ride, but not bad, and not often. Somehow I was revving the engine bad whenever I tried braking. It was getting frustrating and scary. No matter what, I just couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Then it happened. I accidentally lost my grip on the clutch.... THAT was an oh s#!t moment! Thankfully I also accidentally (or perhaps the biker gods said "not today Pamela, not today"?)hit the kill switch as the front end jumped up, and by the skin of my teeth managed to stay on and keep her upright upon touch down. The world stopped for a breath or two. It's a freaky thing when adrenaline kicks in, and for a moment everything is in slow motion. Unfortunately, unlike the movies, I was also in slow motion and felt as if it took forever to take that breath. The next thing I know, my best friend ran up to me, stood over the front tire, grabbed the handle bars steadying the bike, and asked if I was ok. I managed to squeak out a breathless "I will be" and got off the bike. Embarrassment, shame, and utter disappointment settled in cranking up the beat-myself-up machine to high production. *sigh* My best friend got me to stop long enough to put the kickstand down, and picked me up in a bear hug and didn't put me down until I started squirming and giggling because it was just so ridiculous a thing to do at that moment. I um.... kinda.... while I was squirming.... well.... it was a miracle he didn't drop me when my leg connected.... with his.... Anyway, a little bit later, he asked me what happened and I told him about the revvy braking and losing my grip on the clutch... he never said it, but... I knew he would never let me ride his bike again. And I could not argue it. Never asked again. This is where being an overthinker is a little less curse-like. The revvy braking? Yeah, I was pulling the brake, rolling the throttle with it instead of squeezing the brake without moving my palm. Sheesh! So simple, but it took days to realize it! But I digress... where was I? OH yes. The bike. While helping him finish building his bed, he asked me all kinds of questions about what I want for a bike, have I looked for one yet... and he asked about the test and how I felt about riding now,what kind of helmet... He was scheming.  I should have seen it, but nooooo. Blind as a deaf bat! A week later he asked me to look up bluebook on his bike. He did it so casually.... yup, still blind. Told him what I found. Next thing I know, he's offering to sell me his bike for half of blue book. I. Was. Stunned. Speechless. That's not easy to do! Heck, my mind still stutters a bit on that one. That was no small thing this man was offering me. How can you put a price on fulfilling a 40 year long dream? How can you turn down an offer of freedom like that? But I did. I couldn't take his baby! Then he said "if I miss a season, it's ok. My skills are solid. You, on the other hand, need to develop your skills or you will lose everything you learned in the class, and you'll end up killing yourself". Hmm. Kinda backhanded there azzhole! Lol but he was right. He also knew I wasn't likely to spend enough money on myself to buy a decent bike any other way. Ok. I whispered it. What? He teased... OK! Took a couple days before I made my first payment to him. $500 cash. We exchanged money, title and keys. We drove to my place, he took the bike, and I took his car. We arranged for him to pick me up for work the next day, so I could drive my truck home after. My bike. *brain stutter* m mine. It's real. I donned my gear, and awkwardly duckwalked it around to face the street. It started. Wow.... I'm really doing this! I stall it out. (Expletive). Starts again, I try again, and I'm on the road! ... now to practice...

Story Time: The Test 1st weekend in June 2020 I was scheduled to take the Harley Davidson riding class. Borrowed a helmet, wore flimsy fashion boots with low heels, and a nitro riding jacket with armor someone had given me years earlier. Oh, and cheap riding gloves I bought the night before. It was a chilly morning for June and I was feeling nervous and shy. For a person who is always late, always last minute, showing up early makes me very uncomfortable. But there I was, slowly walking up as they were unloading the bikes from the trailer. One of them greeted me, asked my name, and carried the conversation for the first few minutes. Others started showing up and then it was time to begin. The class seriously started with baby steps. Pre ride check, start it up, shut it off, rock it in neutral without it running... etc. For me, I needed that. I never rode before other than in a parking lot twice the previous summer. Been a passenger from time to time, but not even that very often. As the day went on, I gained some confidence, but really did not like the bikes in the class. The next morning was more drills, more new stuff, more practice. Then it came time for the test. I didn't feel ready, but they were setting out the Itty bitty little cones for the test course. So many cones. Before this, they used... a few.... but now? A hundred gazillion just for the sharp right and u-turn.... my worst things. Ungh. Instead of just picturing a stop and right turn on the street, all I see is these cones. One tire out. (Expletives happened inside my helmet). Deep breath, more cones, crap. 2 tires out. (More expletives that didn't neccesarily stay in my helmet this time). After a moment to collect myself I asked if I was done or if I still had a chance. He said I had a chance, but couldn't afford any more points. Crap. Last one, stop fast. So far so good. Go, stooop... 1' too far. 12 (expletive ) inches! I wanted to scream! But I stead a few tears fell as my overthinker-self-loathing gears kicked in. A few deep breaths and some pacing later, after everyone else got their cards to take to the DMV and get their endorsement, I asked about the next step. He said that if they have an opening on a Sunday, like a no show or drop out, he was certain I'd pass if I went through the morning drills and tested again that afternoon. Only problem was there was no way of knowing when that might happen, and I had no way to practice in between. I reminded them the next Friday to let me know... Checking my phone like a teenager who just told her crush she liked him.... Saturday, nothing... Sunday morning,  nope. Afternoon creeped by like an inch worm trying to run a marathon. The whole next week I was flip-flopping from hope to woe and back again.... finally the Friday morning sun decided to crawl up the sky. Again I reminded them to let me know if there was an opening.... again nothing.... Saturday nothing... Sunday I had given up hoping at about 10am. 10:15 got the call..... We won't talk about how fast I got there.... in my truck people, I had no bike, yet lol. I knew right where they were as I walked up and got on the bike that was open and got in the back of the line. No joking around, just concentrating on what I needed to do to pass. Test time. Damn cones. A gazillion again.... I ignored them... sorta. Got through the right turn with one tire out. (Expletives happened again) started to fixate on the cones again.... NO!,  it's just two left quarter turns... look ahead.... ok, one tire out. Whew. So as long as I do the same as before from this point on. I got this! Next up, the fast stop. ZOOM BRAKE, back tire locks up, but stays straight, front tire good.... YESS that had to be good! The guy chuckles and waves us all over to the table without telling me a thing..... I'm bouncing as he goes through everyone's tests... one girl who could do all the turns perfect laid the bike down on the stop. Instant disqualification. Ungh. My turn. Meticulously goes through each thing, giving good advice.... until the stop. My heart stopped on a dime. 40 years of waiting, I'm soo close! He says 4' short. Huh? It didn't register. He says it again, but this time he says slowly, "you stopped in 4' less distance than you needed to to not get any points". It was about as perfect a stop as you can get without locking up both tires. Good job not letting it kick out, or letting off the back brake while avoiding locking up the front or laying it down. You passed! I took the little endorsement card, called in sick for the next day, and took the test at the DMV Monday morningas soon as it opened, passed with 1 wrong, and got my endorsement! ...just need a bike....